IHAD just had a stay at a hotel in Portsmouth which one of the tourist guides described as tired. After the first night, I would have said: "Slipped into a coma at some point in the 1970s!"
It had the sort of bedrooms which actually got brighter when you switch the main light off and the dining room carpet doubled as the menu.
So when I was offered a stay at the Metropolitan by Como London, I jumped at the chance.
The Metropolitan, on Old Park Lane, is one of the top luxury hotels in Mayfair and is positioned on a quiet street just off one of the most significant thoroughfares in London, Park Lane.
The hotel opens up right on to Hyde Park Corner and so you would think the roar of humanity would be a constant, but there is a tranquillity and peace within the building, not just the bedrooms, which at times is almost unreal.
In the morning I had to draw back the curtains to remind myself of where I was, only to be brought back to reality as there was a traffic jam made up of three Bentleys, a C63 Mercedes and a cluster of Lamborghini, which is a sort of reality in Mayfair.
From the moment we entered the reception you get the feeling the pace of life has slowed.
There is a clean, simple and functional look, uncluttered but comfortable.
There is also the calming smell of Como Shambhala Invigorate throughout the entire building and by the end of the stay, the power of essentials oils and their aroma would play a big part in the relaxation process.
Having settled into our room, and immediately nodded off, a phone call informed us that our session in the Como Shambhala Urban Escape spa was booked.
As the advertising blurb stated, this holistic wellness centre nurtures mind, body and spirit with an Asian-influenced spa menu.
With its recently expanded facilities, including four single treatment rooms, and two dual treatment rooms, there are private steam areas, gym and yoga studios.
Yoga instruction can be requested and guest rooms come with personal mats for private reflection and exercise as well as a dedicated Yoga TV channel.
Yoga and I don't really mix and to be honest, the good lady wife is a bit of a stranger to the nurturing of mind, body and spirit unless it comes with tonic, ice and lemon.
But we had booked a deep tissue massage for me and an extensive wellbeing facial for her.
The afternoon wandered away from us as she was cleansed, toned and brought back to life, after nearly falling asleep which is the greatest compliment of any treatment spa.
Meanwhile, I was being worked upon by expert hands, which soon discovered tightness, knots and muscle problems but after an hour we both emerged, she fresh faced and delighted with her skin tone and me, relaxed and no longer walking like a baboon as my massage had uncovered a serious imbalance in my posture because of muscle tension.
A perfect night's sleep was achieved, but in the morning a nagging doubt! With The Metropolitan's constant concern for our health what would breakfast offer us?
I have suffered before from wheat germ and toast thinner than the waitress in 'health' hotels, but I was greeted by the vision of grenade size muffins with fresh raspberries spilling out of their just baked surface.
Plates of crispy bacon, yes 'crispy' bacon... something not on offer even at home, perfectly poached eggs, fat sausages, solid toast which took some solid buttering and coffee, strong enough to wake the dead.
Oh, and tiny pain au chocolat, small enough not to matter, even if you did have three.
The Metropolitan had become my favourite London hotel in just 12 hours and I took with me not just some great memories but also the smell of Invigorate, a delicate blend of eucalyptus and peppermint which the spa offers as shampoo, conditioner and moisturizer. If you pass me, sniff! That is the smell a great day in the heart of London.
Check out www.comohotels.com/metropolitanlondon/rates-and-offers/packages/spa